That's ... sort of an odd question, I think. I mean, I've never thought of it before. My dad ... well, he was alright, I guess. I didn't really notice him a lot, the first few years of my life. He was just this tall frowning figure hovering in the background, who sometimes smiled at me when I did something strange in the right way. *grin* I remember loving those moments. He was a hydromancer, I think. He used to make the water in the little pond down the end of the garden into strange shapes and creatures that my siblings and I would chase and be chased by. It was fun.
I know he sold me into an apprenticeship when I was seven. But that happens to more or less everyone, unless you come from a rich family. And, okay, so the master he sold me to was a bit of a bastard, with a bit of a temper. But, see, he was also a glassworker. Mineral affinity alchemist. And I was a weird little kid, and maybe it came from my dad's water sculptures and my own strong affinity for minerals, but I fell head over heels in love with glass. I've never gotten over it. I can hear glass singing miles away, can feel her chimes in my sleep. I love glass. And so I did flourish in that apprenticeship, and it opened the way for everything I'd later become.
So. Daddy issues. I don't think I have any, as such. Except that I miss him, sometimes. When I'm near the water. When I hear kids splashing. It's faint, just a tingle of memory and regret.
Maybe I'll go look him up, some day. Fix that.
Mostly? I want to understand it. How it works. How it's put together. All of it. Every detail. I don't just want to know, I want to see and feel and understand. I want to understand the world.
I know that makes very little sense. It's just, when I'm Reading, when I'm diving down into the undercurrents of magic and material, seeing what makes each little piece itself, trying to figure out how they came together to make that exact trace, that exact circumstance ... I get pieces of patterns. Little patterns, day to day, minute to minute. And big ones. Huge. The vast movements of everything connected to everything else, pushing and pulling, reacting to each other, changing each other, little things trickling and vast things pouring, slow, over and under and inside each other, and every little thing affects every big thing, and the big things drive all the little things, and it's all so big and so there, and I can just catch the shape of it all, the Great Pattern, just curl my fingertips around the edges, and I know if I were only that much bigger, that much more present, that much more understanding, then I could see. See the Pattern. See how it all works, how it all fits together. And I want it. I want it so very much. Just to see. Just to understand.
That's why every new thing I see, every new material, every new circumstance, I can feel my fingers itching, to touch, to Read, to understand that little bit more, make myself that little bit bigger, touch that little bit more of the Big Picture. Everything I unearth, everything I meet, it's all so tempting, so beautiful, so desirable that way. I just want to touch. To Read. To see.
Apologies if it creeps people out.
Can I just say, I love this machine? I can? Great! I love this machine. The way it channels intent is incredible! I want to build a replica, I think. Glass, crystal, some metals. Amber, too. Should do nicely.
Ah. Introduction. I forget myself sometimes, never mind. Hmmm. Who am I?
No, really. Who am I? *grin*
Name's Finn. Finn Winters, though most people call me Finn Finicky, Finicky, or just Finn. I'm an alchemist, as you might have guessed. Full alchemical-range affinity, skill levels through the roof ... and about enough actual magical power to keep my cup of tea hot. *sigh* I really wish I had a mage-class power level. I can observe all these fabulous forces and materials, know them inside out, and I can't do a thing with them unless I channel my intent through focuses or fixings. It's depressing, and the fact that Jeanette keeps rubbing my face in it only makes it more so.
Aside from that ... well, I'm primarily the Second Librarian at the Alchemical Library, mostly because my Simulacra records are second to none. I'm also a craftsman and artisan of some renown, at least in Shirkan City, mostly for my glasswork. And finally, on a trial basis, I'm a member of a prototype forensic alchemy team attached through the Alchemist's Guild to the city's police force. Which basically means me and a friend, John Whistler, examine crime scenes and get taunted a lot by the primarily mage-based police grunts. Who are mostly idiots, by the way. Oh, and recently we had one permanently assigned to the team, kind of a babysitter. That's Jeanette, the bane of my life. Sound mage, and mostly good at her job, though you can never, ever tell her I said so. I really mean it.
Um. That's about it, really. Well, all that I can think of at the moment, anyway.
Pleased to meet you all!